just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
