You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
