bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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