she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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