I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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