What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
