She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
