Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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