you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
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