Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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