Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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