I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I need to stop coming to work sober
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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