seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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