we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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