speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
