So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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