so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
