your room smells of hookers.
And success
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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