i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize