dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
