we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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