There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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