so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
