i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she looked like the before picture.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
