Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
