He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
