I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
