Got a toothbrush?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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