I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I deserve this hangover.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
