He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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