How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
