Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
