At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
