atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
