Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
