Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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