His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
this just has baby written all over it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
