using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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