Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
