She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
