OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is wine microwaveable?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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