ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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