the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
should my penis look like a turkey
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
