You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
