I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
