I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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