He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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