I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he wants to bone in the snuggie
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
