Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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