I just saw a hot homeless man
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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