At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
