That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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