No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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