im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
