Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I need a beard to bite.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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