she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
